Cantor Moses' Musings--S'LICHOT-Forgiveness

“I ASKED MYSELF
Who’s listening to these words of confession?
Magnificent Ear of the universe, are You my personal confidant?
Or am I just talking to myself?
Then I got it:
The question is a diversion-
To distract me 
From hearing who I really am.”
                                          Mishkan HaLev  

These words are taken from the prayer book that contains our S’lichot prayers, which focus on forgiveness and repentance. These words should stir our souls and ignite more questions such as, “Who am I, really in this moment? And “Who do I want to become?”

One of my favorite teachings is from Rabbi David Aaron, who taught me while I was on my first trip to Israel on a Birthright program (a very long time ago!) that we are not human beings, but rather “human becomings.” This is the essential work of the High Holy Day season as we engage in “heshbon hanefesh,” the accounting of our souls to recognize how we want to grow spiritually, act in a more compassionate manner, and be of service to others. 

There are actually three levels of forgiveness according to Jewish law. 

1. Selichah- translated as forgiveness which is the first step which must be taken if someone has committed a sin, whether it be against God or humankind. One must ask forgiveness to the injured party, and to repent, to feel remorse and promise never to commit that sin again. A person must forgive another person. 
   
2. Mechilah- translated as “wiping away” is the response to the request, “Can we put our relationship back on the level it was on before I sinned against you?” A person must forgive another person. 
   
3. Kapparah- translated as atonement, as in the day of Yom Kippur. This is the response to the person who says, “My conscience will not let me live with myself, because of what I did to you and to our relationship. This is only forgiven by God. 
   

It is interesting to have a deeper understanding of these levels of forgiveness. However, we must recognize that we are all desperately trying to do the very best we can living in this complicated world. So before you rush out to apologize for the hurt you may have caused others, take a moment to instead of beating your chest, to pat your back and to forgive the most important person who will be there to travel with you on your journey for the rest of your life, you. It is okay and mandatory to forgive yourself. It’s already on God’s list. So scratch it off yours. 

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